The things you find at the bottom of boxes

I was unpacking the last of the boxes from my move last fall this morning and found a poem I wrote for Honors English Freshman year in high school. I apparently got a 100 on it so I thought I’d post it; it’s a bit emo, but there you go.

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i am trapped
a masquerade ball
Everyone wears a mask
some more elaborate than others
to hide their true face
that makes me
the Queen of Masks
the Queen of Fools
No One knows
my soul
many years spent making sure No One will

i’m spinning in a sea of false tears and fake smiles
i cannot save myself
i will not save myself
fear of the mask cracking
falling away

twisting, writhing, withering, black mass
emotions inside my heart
my soul
people afraid to look
They become soiled as well

a world of crystal people
Their beauty is perfection
i dare not touch
fear of dirtying Them
cracking Them
shattering Them
loving Them
They are hollow
could never love
plastic that can only reflect
cheap imitations

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Maybe more than a bit emo, but whatever.

Self Realization

I have realized something.

I am so desperate for acceptance that I would do anything for friends; even if it was detrimental to my well being. And I’m not talking about my best friend. I mean the people at the fringes of my social circle.

That can’t be healthy.

*Waves*

As an intro post, I’m just going to copy and paste a letter I had to write in my seminar class at the beginning of the semester.

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Dear Geoff Lumb (my instructor),

My name is Sarah Sheffield; I’m a first semester sophomore. Georgetown, TX is my hometown where I have lived with my parents and younger sister until I enrolled here in fall of 2006. I love photography and have my own online gallery. I also enjoy watching TV. Robot Chicken and South Park are my all time favorite shows. Music is a big influence for me as well. I listen to anything that isn’t rap. After I graduate, my hope is to enter a career working with abuse children or the mentally ill is some capacity.

I have always enjoyed writing but find it very difficult, as I was diagnosed with dysgraphia and ADD at a young age. I originally attempted to take this course my first semester, but due to a family crises I had to cut back my hours. Last semester my aunt died due to complications caused by a brain tumor and my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I took a creative writing class in high school that was quite enjoyable. My enjoyment of writing stems from a deep love of reading. My interests span a wide breath, but include forensic science, entomology, psychology, parapsychology, plagues, and zoology.

I hope that by the end of this course I will have brought my writing up to college level so that I might pass the required Composition class. I also needed to fill my schedule with a few hours I was reasonably sure I could make at least a B in to help me move off of scholastic probation.

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I realize the wording and sentence structure is a little off. This is because it had to be a page long, and I didn’t have a lot to say that would fit within the constraints of the assignment.